We heard it all many times, "always use a condom", but what is actually safe sex and what is not?

In general, bears - and those who associate with the bear scene - are relaxed, sensual men that enjoy sex and mostly seem to play safe. But, can we lean back and say all is fine. Sadly, no.

In many countries there are no - or almost no - safesex campaigns, warning about the dangers of unsafe sex. In Europe, Spain is the country with the highest number of new AIDS cases, but free condoms in bars and saunas - like in the UK and Holland for instance - are not available. An initiative by the Madrid bear scene is hoping to change this.

We collected the most recent safe sex info, so read up and play safe!


Believe it or not, there are people who actually get turned on by condoms and who can be very inventive in playing with them. For a lot of others, though, condoms are nothing but a bother. Condoms will remain a nuisance if you don't get used to them. Most men who use condoms often hardly mind them.

Using them just becomes a habit, something you do automatically, even if you are really drunk, stoned or even just incredibly horny. Buy only condoms that are suited for anal intercourse. Always use large amounts of good lube.

:: How to use a condom

Experienced users are much less apt to have accidents than beginners. So make sure that you practice - by yourself if need be - putting on and using condoms. By pinching the air out of the cum-reservoir at the top, you can prevent the condom from breaking or ripping in most cases. If your condom doesn't have a little built-in reservoir, you can always make one yourself. Then unroll the condom all the way down the shaft of your cock. This will prevent it from slipping off.

:: Don't

- Never use two condoms on top of each other: they are bound to rip.
- Never use the same condom more than once.
- Never fuck two holes wearing the same condom.

:: Do

Once you've come: pull out while your cock is still stiff. Hold onto the condom so that it won't stay inside.

A condom not only protects you against HIV, but also substantially reduces your chance of contracting other sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) such as herpes, gonorrhea or syphilis, and genital warts.

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If someone offers you his cock, go ahead and suck it! With a bit of practice, and by breathing through your nose, you'll be able to let his rod disappear quite a ways down your throat.

If you are sucking someone's cock and if he doesn't come in your mouth, it is nearly impossible to either get infected by or transmit the HIV virus. If you are suffering from seriously inflamed gums, throat or tonsils, however, it would be wise to use a condom, even if he doesn't come in your mouth.

It is not advisable to suck someone off directly after you've brushed your teeth. The same holds the other way around too: brushing your teeth right after you've given someone a blow-job is not a good idea either.

Remember, too, that if your partner has already come earlier, there may still be sperm inside his cock. Having a quick piss after coming will remove any sperm from the urethra. Don't be surprised if your partner wants to go further (or less far). He may want to come in your mouth. Set your own limits and be clear about where those limits are.

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A nice hairy asshole just asks to get licked. For the connoisseur it is a delicacy in its own right. But it can also be a good lead-in to some more in-depth anal fun.

It will help the sphincter or orbicular muscle to relax a bit in advance. In itself, rimming - also known as 'eating (or licking) ass' - carries no danger of HIV transmission.

Nevertheless, it is possible to catch the hepatitis A and B virus by rimming. The A type comes via feces, and the B type you get via mucus and blood in the anus. If you lick someone who has anal gonorrhea, you run the risk of contracting gonorrhea in your throat. If you want to be extra safe, you can use a condom cut open lengthwise or a dental dam (available at a condom store) for anal-oral rimming. But don't use anything like plastic wrap or microwave wrap!

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There are still people who think that an ass is just something to sit on or shit through. Fortunately most of us know better. Butt fucking is a favorite pastime for many men. But if you want to continue to enjoy it for a long time, be sure to use a good condom.

Everyone should know it by now: fucking without a condom is the most dangerous technique as far as the transmission of HIV is concerned. Let's get the facts straight one more time.

Transmission of the HIV virus can occur if:

1. Sperm, which contains HIV, enters the rectum or anal canal;

2. Blood, which contains HIV, enters the rectum by means of a (lightly) damaged urethra, i.e. the urinary tract inside your penis;

3. Blood, which contains HIV, enters a damaged urethra by means of a (lightly) damaged rectum. And the inside of an ass always bleeds during fucking!

However experienced you may be and however big a cock you may be able to take: rectums are saturated with so many tiny capillaries that it is inevitable that at least one of those blood vessels is going to break during fucking. More than likely you won't notice anything. It is still unknown if pre-cum that enters an ass can lead to infection. Don't be tempted to "leave the church before the singing starts" as the old Dutch saying goes. The risk of transmission described in 2 and 3 above remain just as valid in that case.

Whether you fuck or get fucked, always use the right kind of condom with a lot of good lube, and use them properly. Never fuck different people wearing the same condom: use a fresh condom each time.

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Golden Shower spaces are sometimes set up at parties and in bars. You can always relieve yourself of your excess urine there if there is another long line of people waiting to use the toilets.

Above all, you'll have a good chance of finding someone who is all too eager to serve as a target for your jet of piss or who wants to use you as his target.

At home you might want to use a piece of plastic tarping or pond lining to protect your floor or bed. Urine is essentially sterile, so drinking piss carries no risks in terms of HIV and STD's. Leftovers of many types of medicine do end up in your piss, however.

Those leftover medicinal products may often still have an effect on the body. That's why it is not advisable to drink the piss and certainly not a lot of it of someone who uses a lot of medicine. Real pus only comes out of your urethra if you've got an STD. But by then you are quite sick, and it is not likely that you will be engaging in sex.

The taste of your piss naturally also depends on what you eat or drink. If you want to treat someone to an especially bitter taste, asparagus, broccoli or coffee can be recommended. To please those who like it sweet, try beer, sweets or cherry cola.

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People who prefer having sex without a condom have always been around. But they have never been so open about having unprotected sex as since the advent of the phenomenon known as barebacking. Barebacking is a term from the world of horseback riding and it refers to riding a horse without a saddle. Men who bareback do not use condoms when having anal sex.

The term was first introduced in 1997 and at that time it was used mainly in the US and on the Internet. Like-minded people were organizing private sex parties where condoms were not being used. Since 1999, bareback parties - sometimes called PNP ("party and play") parties - have also been organized in Europe.

There is no doubt about the fact that barebacking is unsafe and the main cause for HIV infections.

Many people come up with excuses for not using condoms, mostly because they aren't informed about the facts. Here are some of the most common excuses for not using condoms:

:: My sex partner says he's negative, so we don't need condoms?

Believe it or not, some people are not as honest as they seem, even when it's about something this important. Sometimes people are so horny that they lie. Stupid but true. Sometimes people are even worse. We here at EuroBear know several people - not from stories but actual friends - that had people trying to infect them with HIV on purpose!

:: But it's not that dangerous anymore?

Many people believe that HIV is just a condition that is no longer life-threatening, and that one can live with for the duration of a 'normal' lifespan. This is a big mistake.

First of all, to live with HIV requires you to take massive amounts of medication for the rest of your life, which is a heavy burden on your body and mind. Second, the current medication is losing its strength as the HIV virus is becoming immune. If no new medications are found we might be facing a situation like in the beginning of the AIDS epidemic where HIV is a deadly disease that cannot be treated. In fact, this is currently already happening in the USA.

:: I already have HIV so I don't need to have safe sex?

Many men with HIV think they no longer need to practise safe sex as they already have the virus. This is not true. Each time you get re-infected with the HIV virus you get a new, slightly different strain of the virus, with will cause your immune system to break down even faster while creating stronger strains of the HIV virus. This causes current treatments to become less effective and newly infected people to get sick faster.

:: But there is no fun in safe sex?

Some men make a conscious and informed decision to have sex without condoms. They have weighed the degree of risk they are running against the need they feel to have 'raw' sex.

If you are thinking about making this choice maybe you should first try other things that can be equally exciting and fulfilling, things you may not have tried yet, or should re-discover. Many men focus on fucking so much that they forget there's a whole world of exciting sex out there.

If you really feel that fucking without a rubber is more important than having a long, healthy, fulfilling life you might want to talk to a healthcare professional before putting your life at risk: you may unknowingly be suffering from depression and therefore thinking that only (unsafe) sex can make you happy.

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The intense feeling you get from a good fisting session cannot be compared to any other experience. If you take a fist, you undergo a sensation of unbelievable fullness and penetration. Everything else around you fades away, and the only thing that still exists is your ass.

The active partner is very much aware that he has you completely under his control. His hand is buried in a deliciously warm, living 'love-glove'.

:: Fisting Tips

For the active partner: it is crucial that your fingernails are cut short and carefully filed down. This situation calls for the utmost caution and responsibility. Never force anything! There is always a chance of injury, but fortunately that doesn't happen very often in practice. Be alert for signals from your partner. His fate is literally in your hands! If you see a little blood, it is usually pretty harmless. Take a break for a while and try it again later. If the bleeding doesn't stop, you have a serious reason to stop doing it. Always use a lot of patience and large quantities of lube.

Many men prefer cooking fat or other greasy kinds of lubrication. That makes fucking very risky up to a full day after the fisting, however, since greasy types of lubrication will corrode condoms.

The passive partner has to make sure that he is thoroughly rinsed out from the inside and as relaxed as possible. Some people use drugs, but besides making you feel good, these also suppress pain signals. Your ass might become so piggish that it will be damaged. Keep listening to the signals your body gives! Don't let anyone tell you that fisting without drugs is impossible. In order to relax you need to be able to flip a switch in your head. It helps if the active partner is someone you trust.

There is no direct danger of HIV transmission from fisting. But since everybody always has one or more little cuts on his hands (frayed cuticles!), and since it can bleed substantially inside someone's ass before anyone notices it, we advise using latex gloves (often available at sex parties, and of course at pharmacies, drug stores and sometimes even in the supermarket).

In situations where there are several people getting fisted, the use of latex gloves is also definitely advised. Never enter different asses with the same glove, but use a fresh one each time. The same goes for the lube: to every ass its own lube. Naturally, if you fist with gloves, it is important to use water-based lube: greasy types of lubrication will also corrode the latex of the gloves. And don't just think about the transmission of HIV. There are plenty of other nasty diseases you can catch.

Fisting demands a lot of preparation, but every fan of fisting can tell you that it is worth all the trouble!

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We will not take a stand on whether drugs are bad for you, legal or illegal. It's up to you to make an informed decision about your health and lifestyle.

Always remember that drugs lower your inhibitions and can make you do things you will regret the day after - if you're lucky. They might make you do things that you will regret the rest of your life.

A drink or smoke can make you feel more relaxed, and make sex more pleasurable. If you are drunk or high on the other hand, you cannot control your actions anymore, even if you think you can.

:: A new drug

In the USA it's dubbed "the 2nd epidemic" because it causes so many people to get infected with HIV. There are many names for it (crystal methamphetamine, tina, crystal meths, krank, tweak, ice) but mostly it's called Crystal.

Crystal is the most widely used drug in the USA after alcohol, cigarettes and pot. It's now also surfacing in Europe in cities like Amsterdam and Berlin, and Ibiza. It will probably surface in your area soon so inform yourself about this new and dangerous drug.

The liberating nature of the drug means that often safe sex is discarded while sexual activity increases greatly. It makes you feel strong, energetic and invincible, so you are willing to take risks that you otherwise would never take. It also numbs pain so using it while getting fisted, for instance, can cause severe damage without you even noticing. There is now evidence it actually makes many men look for dangerous situations, like getting fucked without rubbers in darkrooms or at sexparties.

It has been reported in the USA that in almost half of the new AIDS cases, crystal meth has been a factor.

:: Educate yourself

Life or Meth: www.lifeormeth.com

SF based website with tons of information: www.tweaker.org

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